Today is a blah day. Actually I think it's more like a blah month.
Not good not bad.....just blah. I think it's all this change in the air.
Not that change is bad, change is good! It's just hard sometimes. Especially when I can see change all around me, but I'm not necessarily feeling it. I need to start working and sleeping so I feel productive.
It's interesting to me though, because I had in my mind when getting ready to move, that we were moving to this strange foreign place. What I'm learning is, it's not much different. I mean there are a lot of differences, there are differences everywhere in the world, and in everyone. But at the same time, I think we are all a lot more similar then we think. I think why I'm finding it so hard here, and why I'm missing everyone so much is that I don't feel like I'm gone. I drive around town and if I don't think about it I kinda feel like I'm in Utah. I mean yeah there are no mountains and it's hotter but life is going on just like normal. Everyone around is doing things just as they would if we were in Utah. I knew this sounds weird I mean duh of coarse they would, but I think somewhere in my head I made Texas seem like this whole other world, and I was getting away from Utah so that all this awesome and amazing stuff would happen and it would be different and our lives would change. I think I just made all these huge expectations in my head (they weren't necessarily right, nor am I disappointed they didn't happen, just getting use to it) of what it was going to be like that when that wasn't the case I wasn't really prepared. I also felt like I was on vacation here. We come here to visit so often that I was just enjoying my time and thinking oh i'll be home soon! Well that feeling wore off but instead of feeling this big wake up call that we are hours away, I just woke up feeling like oh we're home? I totally missed that drive, must of slept the whole way, that was a fun trip. I think it adds that I don't leave the house a ton, and whenever I do sleep I usually dream about Utah, so I can go a whole day in the house not looking outside thinking that I'm back there. So when the want comes to go see family or friends I just think oh okay I'll just drive over there later tonight.......then it hits me, oh it's not a ten minute drive anymore is it? It's a weird feeling, and I'm not sure I'm describing it right, because it's hard to describe. I think I just try not to think about it most the time and it's easy, but then when and Idea comes, or I want to see someone, or show someone something, or be a part of something I think I'll just swing by, or wait..I can't....I'm not there anymore. I mean I'm so grateful for technology! It's so nice to still be in touch with everyone, but sometimes it makes it harder, because then I just think about what I'm missing, or what I wish I could be apart of. Everyday I'm just feeling more and more like this guy
Oh well I'm going to stop wollowing in self pity and change my attitude! We choose how we fill and I'm just going to choose to be happy and stop letting blah take over. I have been reading a lot of talks from President Hinckley lately because he always makes me so happy! Here are some of his quotes that have been helping me out!
"Life is to be enjoyed, not endured"
"Try a little harder to be a little better."
"If Life Gets Too Hard To Stand, Kneel."
"You have not failed until you quit trying."
"Be believing, be happy, don't get discouraged. Things will work out."
And my favorite, the quote I'm trying to live by right now!
"Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight."
Well on a happier note, I made the most delicious cookies in the world last night! No joke, best cookies I have ever made in my life. DELICIOUS! YUM!
If only more people were around to experience the goodness....but then again that left more for me and Eric, hm yeah it was okay you guys weren't there.