Monday, February 18, 2013

Pink is my New Favorite Color!

I can't believe it was a month ago yesterday that my big sister Melodee, better known as my twin, was diagnosed with breast cancer. It's surreal and emotional even as I type those words.  I know this post is a little late but this past month has been full of changes.  It's amazing to me how much can happen and change in a months time.  My sister has been such an inspiration to me during this process.  She has always been an avid blogger and has started a new blog to document her journey through Cancer.  Here is the link if you are interested in reading it
 I'm pretty sure every post bring me to tears because of the wisdom and strength she shares through her words.  Ya know you hear about this stuff all the time, but never think its going to happen to you or your family and when it does you have no idea what to do or how to react.  I'm so grateful to live in Texas and be a little bit closer to her, but still 8 hours has just felt too far.  From the minute I heard all I wanted to do was rush to be with her and be by her side!  I know God has a plan and we are all set on certain paths and everything is for our experience and growth.  I know my sister, as well as everyone else who has been involved are being touched and taught, but it's hard to not want to take it all away.  My husband and I have had the conversation often about how moving away from our families have made us be more appreciative.  It's easy to be consumed by the petty feelings, and be annoyed by every ones idiosyncrasies, but I definitely think we took our time in Utah for granted.  I am the youngest of 6 kids, and was always surrounded by family.  I can look back now and think about all the time I spent complaining about stupid things and being annoyed about stuff that in 5 minutes didn't even matter.  Now being away and just missing being with family makes me realize that no matter our issues and imperfections family is family!  It's made me step back and realize that yes it has been good for Eric and I to be on our own, and we know we are where God wants us to be, but that all the little annoyances are small in comparison and that I would take those any day to be with my family!  My sister Julianna and I have joked about needing to build a big compound so that we all can live close together.  I know many of you read that and laugh and say that would be a horrible idea and that you would hate it or everyone would fight or be annoyed with each other, well maybe...actually absolutely on some days, but there would also be so many awesome things from it!  Through this whole process all I have wanted to do is sell all my belongings and quit my job and go buy a house down the street from Mel so I could be there whenever she needed me.  I know that this is not practical and is not how life works, but this experiences has certainly put my life in perspective and my priorities in order. It makes me so grateful for my family, for the gospel and my testimony in our Savior, it makes me appreciate time and how quickly it moves, it's making me appreciate the little things and taking advantage of every moment.  I know my sister is in good hands and that God is carrying her through this and that she is surrounded by love and prayers and that comforts me when I can't physically be there to carry her.  My sister is truly amazing, I have looked up to her my whole life and have connected with her even though we are 11 years apart.  She teaches me so much, she makes me laugh more then most people, inspires me to do better and to be better and to try harder!  She amazes me with everything she does and accomplishes and I only hope I can be half the women, wife, mother and sister that she is.


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